The “Wendy syndrome” has its roots in popular psychology.
However, despite not being a disorder recognized by psicodiagnóstico manuals, collects certain aspects that do translate into clinical dimensions that require treatment.
Focus our existence in another ‘s care causes a gradual self – destruction. The lowering of self – esteem or physical and mental exhaustion can lead perfectly into a depression.
The classical literature has brought us very often authentic archetypes able to describe very real behavior.
The “Wendy syndrome”, the “Peter Pan syndrome”, the ” syndrome of Otelo ” or “syndrome of Alice in Wonderland” describe disorders, problems and behaviors where fiction becomes many times reality.
Now, we could say unequivocally that that the title of this article is the most common of all.
Somehow, many women internalize, not by imposition, but because so have seen in previous generations and because so sorry .
Because who cares and caters loves. Because it gives up is, apparently , a unique way of loving. However, sometimes we forget something: who gives also deserves and should receive.
That’s where the problem starts, emotional dissonance, sadness. We propose to think about it through the following keys.
Wendy syndrome or progressive self-denial
Although this syndrome, as noted, is related to the popular psychology, symptoms which is very clear:
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- We understand that love is, above all, serve the other.
- For a long time we feel good to establish this type of relationship . This is how we understand love.
- We are not concerned (at first) that others do not listen to us in the same way. I We just know that your partner feel loved by us and is happy. This is how we feel good.
- We do it so that those around us do not get angry, do not bother. We fight for the foreign balance forgetting ours.
- However, gradually we perceive that others perceive every effort and every waiver carried out as “normal”. To the point of becoming tyrannical and demanding.
If this is exactly what you are experiencing at present, noting certain aspects that you should change.
Understand that love is not sacrifice: love is giving and receiving
Many have been brought up in the idea that the love you have to give up certain things to ensure the relationship. If you want someone, “you have to shut up” many things.
They have also made us believe that we have to say “yes” when what we think is “no”. That will is, above all, prioritize other before ourselves.
If you also have integrated these schemes thought , begins to collapse them to accommodate new ones:
- Love is not giving up. If you quit you become an ersatz yourself.
- A loving relationship should be mature and aware. Both members must give, no doubt, but equally important is to receive. +
- It is to team up, to harmonize strengths, interests and needs.
- Wendy’s syndrome there is always one offers and one receiving. One winning and one that gradually loses.
- However, the real problem is that the other person does not realize it . At the start of the relationship you feel happy watching, caring, looking every detail to provide maximum welfare.
- However, with months or years, we noticed “something wrong”. In the end all we do is taken for granted, not appreciated and, even more, is required.
We must not fall into these difficult and unhappy mazes.
Ideas to focus otherwise emotional relationships
First and essential advice: never fail to be yourself as much as you love the other person. Otherwise, sooner or later, frustration, discomfort, unhappiness appears.
Cares, protects, gives, gives, resignation … Now, your partner should also take care of you, grant you, give you and carry out any waiver by you. However, puntualicemos: we waivers provided they are for the common good.
- Do not apologize for something that is not your responsibility.
- The greatest fear people with Wendy syndrome is being abandoned. To prevent this from happening can do anything (we should never get to this end).
- We need to learn to be happy alone. Enjoy ourselves to the point of knowing thatif we were unmated the world is not going to end.
- Learn to turn to correct your thought patterns, especially those that bring suffering. Thus you will create new emotions with which become stronger.
- Break ideas such as “best care if I want more,” ” it is better to give up this and so will notice how I want it .”
- Stop projecting all your hopes, desires and energies on the other person .Hands out and do it fairly. You deserve my love and I deserve your respect.
Remember, in love deserve dignity. Do not accept discounts: learn to receive and fight for your personal integrity.